How to Start a Conversation on Video Chat With Someone New

A Thursday evening in Nottingham. Sam opens a video chat for the first time, a woman appears with a mug in her hand, they both say “hi”, and then nothing happens for six very long seconds. He taps Next, a little embarrassed, and the next call goes the same way. The problem was never the people. It was that neither call had a first question that was easy to answer. This is how to start a conversation on video chat so the second line comes without effort.

Why the first ten seconds feel so heavy

On a video call you are seen before you have said anything, and so is she. Both of you spend the first few seconds deciding how much to show of yourselves, and the longer a silence runs, the more it starts to mean something. That is why a first line that is easy to answer matters more than one that is clever.

The openers below follow one rule: they ask about something concrete that both people can see, hear or live through, so the answer is a sentence, not an essay. Use them as shapes rather than scripts; in your own words they work better.

Five openers that use what you can see

1. “Is that a guitar behind you?” Anything in the frame works: a poster, a plant, a guitar. It tells her you are paying attention.
2. “That is a great mug. Is it from somewhere?” Objects carry stories, and people like telling them.
3. “Is it dark where you are, or is that your lamp?” It points at light, and light is a shared thing on every video call.
4. “Your cat just walked past, does it do that all the time?” Pets in the frame are the best gift a call can give you.
5. “I think your picture is a bit dim, can you see me okay?” A tiny technical check that makes it a team effort.

Four openers that use where you both are

6. “What time is it where you are?” Time zones are half the fun. In a random video chat with girls session you often cross three of them.
7. “Is it raining there too?” Weather is dull in an office and surprisingly friendly on camera.
8. “Where are you calling from?” The city is a conversation; the street is not, so keep it at the city.
9. “Are you just starting your evening or ending it?” It tells you what kind of conversation she is in the mood for.

Three openers that ask for a small story

10. “What was the best thing that happened today?” It is easier than “how are you?” and gets a real answer.
11. “What are you drinking?” An easy question, and it quickly becomes a conversation about preferences.
12. “What are you supposed to be doing right now?” Everyone on a video call is avoiding something, and saying so is a relief.

How to talk to women online without it feeling like an interview

A string of questions turns a call into an exam. The simple fix is to answer your own question first: “I just finished work, what about you?” gives her something to react to as well as something to answer. The pattern is one question, one small thing about you, then a pause for her.

It also helps to pay attention to energy. If she gives short answers and looks away, the call has told you something, and tapping Next is a kindness to both of you. If she is laughing and leaning toward the screen, stay and ask the next thing that occurs to you. On evenings when a camera feels like too much, you can chat with girls by voice or text and use the same habits.

Openers to leave out

• “Are you single?” or any question about her relationship. It is not an opener, and it ends many calls.
• Compliments about her body. They come across as an audit. A compliment about the mug or the light is fine.
• “Show me more of the room.” Requests to move the camera are how calls end and reports begin.
• Asking for contact details early. Following her on GirlsCam is built so that you do not need to.
• “So what do you do?” It reads as a form field. Ask what she did today instead.

What to do when the silence comes, and how to leave kindly

Silences happen, and they are shorter than they feel. When one arrives, say what is true: “I always go quiet after the first minute,” or “I am trying to think of the next question.” Both usually get a laugh, and both restart the call. If it does not restart, no harm done.

Leaving is just as easy. “It was good to meet you, I am going to head off” is complete. Tap Next or end the call. If the call was good, tap Follow first, so she is in your list the next time she is online. And if anything made you uncomfortable, the “…” menu on her profile lets you report it, and every report gets a reply within 24 hours as part of video chat safety.

Conversation starters: questions